OUR NEW BLESSING

ANNOUNCING OUR PREGNANCY, AFTER LOSS

Because Allorah lived, we now know true bliss.

Because she lived, we now know true sorrow.

Because she lived, we have a hole in our hearts that could never be healed… no matter what comes tomorrow.

Because she lived, we cherish life more and it’s easier to trust in what God has in store.

Because she lived, we have a new gift on its way, that will never take her place, but will make living easier, we pray.

On our way to the hospital to see our Allorah, we passed a church sign that read:

“The secret to contentment is knowing that LIFE IS A GIFT AND NOT A RIGHT.”

Our lives in themselves are the most incredible GIFTS! Every year, every month, every week, every day, every minute – EVERY SINGLE MOMENT IS A GIFT!

We have been given so many gifts in our lives already that we know we don’t deserve. Personally, I have been given: my Justin, who is my rock and one true love; my Ella, who is the first to show me what the love of a mother truly is and how beautifully, impossible it is to describe; my Allorah, that will always remind me of the importance of this life and the higher purpose we should all strive to achieve by letting our light shine; and my newest love, the sweet baby we have coming our way in April that will remind me every day that NO MATTER WHAT GOD IS IN CONTROL.

This gift will never replace what we have lost, but makes the future look SO MUCH BRIGHTER! We are ever SO THANKFUL!

Society conditions us to look at those who suffer a tragedy like ours and expect them to eventually move on. I can assure you from the hurt we feel and the lifetime of dreams we already had for our Allorah… WE WILL NEVER MOVE ON. As time passes, we will always wonder who she would have been and always be aware of her missing presence. Although we put the “what if” thoughts as far away as we can, they will always find a way to creep back into our minds.

It seems the best way to describe grieving as a process quite similar to riding a roller coaster. We are going to have days of happy highs and days of woeful lows. Maybe even more of the “just okay” days in between.

NO MATTER WHAT – GOD IS IN CONTROL

No matter what turns or flips this roller coaster of grief takes in our lives, we will overcome with our strength and peace found in God. After all, all rides eventually have to come to an end right? We will not be feeling this sorrow forever. We have to remember, this world is not our home. We are just passing through.

It’s because of this, I choose to grieve gracefully. I choose to grieve in God’s peace that I can promise you “surpasses all understanding” (Phil 4:7). I choose to grieve in this life remembering my Allorah well, and ensuring that my purpose is never shaken. To continue to give God all of the glory and to never take any of HIS gifts for granted.

I can’t help but think about God sacrificing His only son Jesus for us. GOD, the most powerful of all, allowed His only son to die the most excruciating death and bear all of the burdens of this life, just so we can have the opportunity to be in Heaven with Him one day. I now can attest to what it feels like to watch your beloved child suffer… and I cannot begin to fathom the amount of LOVE that God and Jesus has for us knowing that they could have taken it all away in a second. I would have given anything to have been able to take it all away for Allorah, and in my opinion, this speaks to God’s character more than anything He has ever done.

Can you imagine how much He wants us to make it to Heaven to be with Him? None of us were even created, yet still He suffered on the cross so all of our sins could be washed away. He literally has given us the hope and ability to see our Allorah Day again. What a gift!

Everyday I look to the sky and think, “I wonder what my sweet Allorah is up to today?” In that moment I find peace & comfort knowing that I can’t begin to touch the happiness and greatness she is experiencing. Isn’t that our greatest desire for our children? For them to be the happiest they can possibly be and have their eyes set on God… well, my Allorah can see Him right now and that’s an awesome and powerful thing to know.

Never have I understood God’s love more. Never have I understood Jesus’s sacrifice more. Never have I understood how truly PERFECT God’s gifts to us are – more. Never have I been more motivated to seek out the truth of God’s Word to ensure that I am doing EXACTLY what I am supposed to do so I can be with my Allorah Day again one day!

Please- Never take God’s gifts for granted & always trust in God NO MATTER WHAT! He loves us more than our minds are even capable of understanding! We owe it to Him to seek the truth – make sure you look for yourself (2 Corinthians 13:5)!

Please – Never stop praying for our family. We will always be riding this roller coaster of emotion, but your thoughts and prayers comfort us in ways we can never explain! Our family is so thankful for you all!

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P.S. Whenever you see a butterfly in our pictures, we are honoring our beloved Allorah Day! Big sister Ella can’t wait to tell the new baby all about their big sister waiting to meet them one day in Heaven!