THIS WORLD IS NOT MY HOME

How often do we forget to put ourselves in other peoples’ shoes?

My family is hurting. Seriously hurting. It’s been a little over a month since our sweet Allorah Day joined God in Heaven. While “time heals all wounds” is a common hopeful statement, we feel it falls short of truth. To be honest, the pain grows worse each and every day we have to wake up to her missing presence. Once the shock wears off some, the reality is hard to handle. You find yourself having to look at pictures and videos just to feel that it was IN FACT REAL and a lot of days you can’t even bear to do that.

My husband and I have learned SO MUCH from this experience. One major thing being, you never really know what someone is going through. We pass people EVERY SINGLE DAY in our routines, and have not the slightest clue what trials they are trying to make it through.

The same day I held my 14 month olds’ lifeless body in my arms, I found myself at Target looking for a box to store memories of her for when we were going to explain what happened to our oldest daughter. As I entered the store, grief and the reality struck me like a wall. I would never enjoy another shopping spree with both of my girls or know the bliss of the smiles and waves Allorah would pass to me and strangers alike. I was broken. I was walking isle by isle overwhelmed with the thought of, “these people have no idea what I just experienced, that I just watched my baby take her last breath, held her body to my own for the last time, and left the hospital without her.”

My outlook on others will be forever changed.

Never again will I be impatient when it comes to another persons actions. We are all busy, we are always running… we’ve all experienced the frustrations of waiting. Waiting in line to check out and someone is taking longer than we can stand, sitting at a red light that turns green and the car in front of you still isn’t moving, waiting to be seated at a restaurant and watching conversations linger on for those seated – have you ever thought what is that person(s) going through? 

Maybe that person is so overcome with grief in their life they can barely count out the change needed to check-out. Maybe that person sitting at the red light is so overcome with grief it took all they had to even leave the house and get into the car this morning. Maybe that person talking on and on at the table you think you so desperately need, is so overcome with grief they are trying to get some ounce of comfort from a friend by sharing their innermost feelings.

We as a society have got to make compassion and empathy a priority… when this starts, LOVE can’t help but follow and change the world.

Sundays seem to be the hardest days for my family. To get ready and pull into the church parking lot is unbearable, and oh the times it took to break the habit of opening the door to get sweet Allorah out to carry her in. I can vividly see my husband standing beside the door of our van on multiple occasions, with an outreached hand on the handle, just taking a moment to gather himself before we walked in.

One of the Sunday mornings worship songs that really hit home with us recently and tugged on every emotion was the gospel song, “This World Is Not My Home”:

    1 This world is not my home, I’m just passing through.
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.
The angels beckon me from Heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore. 

O Lord, you know, I have no friend like you.
If Heaven’s not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.

2 They’re all expecting me, and that’s one thing I know.
My savior pardoned me and now I onward go.
I know He’ll take me through though I am weak and poor and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore. 

O Lord, you know, I have no friend like you.
If Heaven’s not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.

3 Just up in Glory Land we’ll live eternally.
The Saints on every hand are shouting victory.
Their song of sweetest praise drifts back from Heaven’s shore
and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.

O Lord, you know, I have no friend like you.
If Heaven’s not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.

The theme of this song is derived from Matthew 6:19-21 and these lyrics perfectly sum up how we feel in this stage of our grief. We can’t feel at home in this world anymore. In all honesty, we keep discussing how we feel like we are living in an alternate universe. Perhaps it’s like we’re just existing with a never before known outlook on the world and it feels an awful lot like being lost.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Matthew‬ ‭6:19-21‬ ‭NKJV

The things we love in this life should not and CANNOT be material. Yes, we can enjoy the blessings we have on this earth, but that cannot be where our hearts and priorities lie. Leave the house a mess and enjoy those babies more, lay that phone down and enjoy your friends and family more, cancel activities that make your life too hectic, and enjoy just simply living more – NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

Love. Love the ones close to you with all of your might. Love complete and total strangers MORE! Care for them! Offer a helping hand… and if that stranger passes you in the store that seems okay, take a moment to think, I really don’t know what they are going through.

Pray. Make time to talk with God. Thank Him for His blessings and ask for His comfort. He hears you! 

This world is not our home… we’re just passing through. 

One of our greatest treasures waits for us in Heaven, and while we’re passing through, we’re going to seek God first!

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NKJV‬‬